Get Your Home Guest-Ready in 20 Minutes

Grab a laundry basket and toss in stray socks, mail, those three half-empty water bottles from your nightstand and the guilty-pleasure erotic vampire book you’ve been indulging in. If anyone questions the mysterious basket, just say it’s your new minimalist organization system — very European, then change the subject.

Attack the living room like it insulted your cooking — swiftly and without mercy. Pick up the obvious stuff like empty coffee mugs, remote controls and that rogue ketchup bottle that’s somehow achieved squatter's rights on your coffee table. Fold blankets with the urgency of someone hiding evidence so it doesn’t look like you’ve just emerged from a 12-hour Netflix binge.

The clock is ticking! There’s no time for a full scrubdown. Grab those cleaning wipes and channel your inner windshield wiper: broad strokes, maximum coverage, minimum effort. Remember, you're not aiming for "operating room clean," just "doesn't look like raccoons live here" clean. Wipe fast, wipe fierce.

Transform your home from "eau de last night's takeout" to "luxury retreat" with a strategic air freshener ambush. Spritz corners, curtains and that suspicious sofa cushion where chips go to die. Just don't overdo it. You don’t want to smell like a department store perfume counter.

Save the VIP treatment for the areas your guests will actually see. Your mother-in-law doesn't need to inspect your sock drawer (and if she does, you have bigger problems than we can solve here). Vacuum the living room rug, wipe down the kitchen counters and close the door on any room that looks like it recently hosted a tornado convention.

Fluff your pillows like you're auditioning for an HGTV show, with unnecessary enthusiasm and dramatic flair. Give each pillow a few good Muhammad Ali-quality punches, then arrange them with the precision of someone who has nothing better to do with their time than fluff pillows.

Grab that microfiber cloth and focus on the museum tour areas like coffee tables, TV stands and any surface at eye level. Leave the ceiling fans and top of the refrigerator for another day (or year). If your guests are inspecting those areas, they've clearly overstayed their welcome.

Bathrooms are the judgment zones of any home, so attack with strategic precision. Wipe the sink to remove evidence of your morning routine, swish the toilet bowl like you're conducting an orchestra and clean the mirror so your guests can judge their own reflections instead of your cleaning skills. And always, always replace the toilet paper because nothing says you've given up on life quite like an empty roll.

To make your house look instantly tidier, corral all footwear into a basket or closet with the speed of someone hiding contraband. Your guests will never suspect that your entryway normally resembles a discount shoe store after a Boxing Day BOGO sale.

This last tip’s for you, you cleaning machine you! Pop on your favorite playlist and crank up the tunes. The faster the beat, the faster you'll move. Suddenly you’re not just frantically shoving things into closets, you’re the lead in a fast-paced cleaning montage and if you time it right, you'll hit that final power chorus just as the doorbell rings.