Setting the Scene
First things first: banish all evidence of family life from your bathroom. Those beard trimmings, toothpaste splatters, Barbie dolls, and the collection of half-empty shampoo bottles aren't what "spa vibes" are made of. Clean everything until it sparkles like you imagine other people's bathrooms always do.
Grab those fancy candles you've been "saving for a special occasion" and light them proudly. Dim the lights because nothing says "luxury" like not being able to see that crack in the tile you've been meaning to fix since 2019.
Curate a playlist that actually reflects your taste, not what you put on during carpool. This is your time to skip the Disney soundtracks and death metal. Tranquil nature sounds are a safe choice, but if you hear anything that resembles a monkey, you've gone too far into the rainforest. Classical music works if that's your thing, but if you want to blast the guilty pleasure playlist you normally only enjoy with headphones, now's your chance. No judgment if it includes boy bands from back in the day.
DIY Spa Treatments That Won't Require Explaining to Your Insurance
The Facial
Remember all those face masks you've bought and never had time to use? Today's the day. Or make your own by mixing honey with a bit of yogurt for a hydrating mask. Add some oatmeal if you're feeling fancy. The best part about doing this yourself is that if you look ridiculous, there's no one around to take an "adorable" photo for social media. Just be sure to test it first. Nothing says "Happy Mother's Day" quite like an unexpected allergic reaction. If your concoction ends up resembling something the cat might have coughed up, you have permission to throw it out and use that expensive cream you've been rationing instead.
The Hand and Foot Treatment
Fill a bowl with warm water, add some Epsom salts and a few drops of those essential oils your sister-in-law keeps gifting you. Lavender is traditional, but peppermint is nice too, unless you have an aversion to smelling like a candy cane in May. Soak your feet while actually finishing a cup of coffee before it gets cold. Now that's luxury. Follow it up with a scrub made from leftover coffee grounds and coconut oil.
Refreshments That Don't Involve Crusts Cut Off
Cucumber water is the official beverage of spas everywhere. Simply slice a cucumber, drop it in water and suddenly you're living your best life. For extra points, add some mint or lemon. For extra-extra points, serve it in something that isn't a Star Wars tumbler. For extra-extra-extra points, skip the water completely and go for the champagne.
If you choose the water route, don't forget to save a few cucumber slices for your eyes. This isn't just spa cliché. The cool cucumber reduces puffiness and inflammation, while the natural antioxidants soothe tired skin. Plus, lying back with cucumbers on your eyes forces you to close them and actually relax. Ten minutes with these green miracle workers and you'll look like you've had a full night's sleep.
A light snack of fruit or chocolate-covered strawberries completes the experience. Remember, "snack" means delicate bites on a pretty plate, not an entire cheesecake with a fork stuck in it.
Now for the most important refreshment of all: pretend it's 1977. Cell phones? What are those? Some crazy future talk? For the duration of your spa time, your smartphone ceases to exist. Turn on do not disturb, leave it in another room, preferably under a pillow or in a drawer. No checking emails, no doomscrolling, no responding to texts. In 1977, if someone couldn't reach you immediately, the world kept on turning. Your notifications can wait while you reconnect with the revolutionary concept of being unavailable.
The Gift of Actual Peace and Quiet
Solitude is the real luxury we're after here. No one asking where something is, telling you about a weird bodily function or wondering whether these leftovers smell "funny”. Just blessed silence, interrupted only by sounds you choose. Set a timer so you don't lose track of time in this parallel universe of tranquility. When it goes off, take five more minutes because you're worth it.
When your spa day is complete, resist the urge to immediately jump back into mom-mode. Let the serenity linger. Reintegrate slowly. The true measure of spa day success is feeling like you've stolen a little piece of sanity back from the busyness of daily life. And if anyone complains they couldn't find the scissors while you were unavailable, simply ask, "Did you look with your eyes or with your mouth?"
The Professional Upgrade
If DIY feels too risky (fair assessment if you once dyed your own hair orange) or if finding even two hours of uninterrupted me-time feels as likely as winning the lottery — twice, consider scheduling a professional spa treatment instead. Yes, it costs money. No, you don't need to feel guilty about spending it. Consider it an investment in the mental health of the whole family.
Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there who deserve a break and who are brave enough to actually take one without feeling guilty! This year, your gift to yourself is permission to prioritize your own well-being. Go ahead, you've earned it.